THE INSTITUTE FOR RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT
sponsors Dr STEVEN STOSNY
Outstanding American EDUCATOR/AUTHOR/THERAPIST
to present the
3 day LOVE WITHOUT HURT
Intensive Boot Camp/Workshop
How to Turn Resentment, Anger, Verbal Abuse, or Emotional Abuse
into Compassion, Confidence & Competence
Friday, 1st October - Sunday, 3rd October, 2010.
WHO SHOULD ATTEND?
For the General Public & Professionals -
Come with your partner, colleagues, friends or on your own.
in all their relationships. Important work for Therapists,
BOOT CAMP Only in PERTH, Western Australia
Stop Walking On Eggshells! - You Don't Have to Take It Anymore
Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship
into a Compassionate, Loving One
Dr Stosny has worked with many thousands of clients
using Compassion Power.
The first Compassion Power program began in 1988,
to treat domestic violence and child abuse offenders.
Using a new technology of emotional transformation, the program greatly improved
the personal and community behaviour of court-ordered offenders.
Compassion Power programs quickly expanded to treat non-violent
but unhappy relationships, with equal success.
One of the most frequently asked questions we get in our work is:
"How do I stop myself getting defensive and reactive when we get into
a heated argument and get triggered?"
Dr Steven Stosny whom we are privileged to sponsor to Perth to present the
Having these tools to add to your Toolbox is crucial. All the tools Steven teaches make
The BOOT CAMP produces dramatic change in a short time for those who do the work. The tone is healing not accusatory, compassionate not blaming, valuing not devaluing, and most of all, empowering.
The first two days focus on self-healing by developing Core Value and self-compassion.
For most people their deepest values require that they relate to those they love with respect and compassion. When you fail to do either, your own emotions go to war against you. Every harsh word you say to a loved one and every cold shoulder you turn towards them makes you hate yourself a little more. You will learn skills to re-condition your emotional system so that you can regulate anger and resentment automatically. The only way to feel powerful, beyond a short-lived adrenalin rush of anger or a prolonged dull ache of resentment, is to increase self-compassion, which in turn increases compassion for those you love.
The third day of the BOOT CAMP focuses on relationship repair.
It is most effective when done with your partner. Says Steven:
"Attila the Hun would not marry Mother Teresa because they do not hang out in the same bars or their Match.com profiles do not match. If you think that you are married to Attila you are probably not MotherTeresa."
1. Power vs. Powerlessness
2. Love, Anger, and the Instinct to Protect
3. Anger, Core Hurts, and Core Value
4. Practice: systematically replacing resentment, anger, and jealousy with compassionate negotiation
5. Application to everyday life
6. Recovery and relapse prevention
You will build you CORE VALUE BANK and you will learn and practice the HEALSTM process throughout the 3 days.
The Goal of Practicing HEALSTM is to build a skill the brain can use automatically, in a fraction of a second, to reach Core Value when aroused with anger, resentment, anxiety, or obsessions.
Just like basic training in the military, it takes lots of practice to develop a skill that works automatically under stress. The key is making the skill part of your automatic response to stress.
STEVEN STOSNY, Ph.D.,is the founder of CompassionPower in Washington, DC. USA.
His most recent books are:
"How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words"
"Love without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One"
The Powerful Self
Treating Attachment Abuse: A Compassionate Approach
Manual of the Core Value Workshop
Power Quest CD-ROM for Adolescents
Core Value Eating CD-ROM
For more INFORMATION please refer to his website is www.compassionpower.com
DATE: Friday 1st - Sunday 3rd October, 2010; TIME: daily 9am - 5pm
VENUE: WOLLASTON COLLEGE - Wollaston Road,
Mt. Claremont, Western Australia.6010
REGISTRATION: http://imagomatters.org/schedule.php or by mail to:
Shelton Huettig, 50 Traylen Road, Stoneville. 6081
PAYMENT: by cheque, bank transfer or cash.
Please make Cheques payable to Shelton Huettig and mail to:
FEE: Pay in FULL by AUGUST 31 and SAVE with EARLYBIRD FEE
$595 per person ($649 after August 31) includes GST OR
$795 with partner ($879 after August 31) includes GST
Some STOSNY pearls of wisdom:
It is not rocket science -
If you want to feel lovable you have to do something lovable!
With each practice of HEALSTM you make your emotions stronger and more flexible in the same way each push up makes you stronger and more flexible.
The impulse to control or harm tells you that your current state of Core Value is too low.
While you can never lose Core Value, you can lose touch with it. The impulse to control or harm does not tell you that you need more power; it tells you that you need more Core Value. It's like a petrol gauge showing that your Core Value is on empty and that you need to fill it up!
Shechina refers to a way of being in the world.......there's no real English word for it.
It is the experience of waking up in the morning full of utter joy for the arrival of the day.
It is a way of living in love." Marc Gafni, The Erotic and The Holy
If you are engaged or contemplating engagement this seminar is for you!
"Start Right, Stay Connected" Seminar is an Imago premarital seminar.
This day long seminar was developed to help premarital couples
learn the tools needed to have a successful marriage and
is specially designed to help make marriage last..
Research suggests that pre-marital education can reduce
your chances of divorcing by 30%.
Start Right, Stay Connected will teach you:
~ Proven communication skills for a healthy relationship
A Message from Imago founders:
Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt
Welcome to Start Right, Stay Connected, a relationship education program
based on Imago Theory for couples preparing to be married.
We’d like to congratulate you on finding someone who means so much to you
that you’re prepared to do the work to make sure your loving relationship
is strong, long and satisfying.
As you approach the happy event of your wedding,
you’re probably feeling more excited than ever about being together.
But, for most couples, there’s a seed of doubt.
All around us, there are ugly examples of romance gone wrong.
The average marriage in the United States currently lasts around 7.5 years.
Experts reckon that 60% of men and 40% of women will have an adulterous
affair at some point in their lives.
You might even have friends, family or colleagues who respond
to your hopeful excitement with rueful smiles and cynical comments
about how love never lasts.
Getting married can feel like embarking on an expedition
into hostile, unknown territory.
But we have great news for you – true, enduring love exists.
You can make a wonderful marriage better,
deeper, richer and stronger as the decades pass.
The smarter you start that marriage, the better chance it has
of being everything you both hoped for.
That’s what this course is all about.
This program will introduce you to
the natural stages of a committed relationship.
You will also discover what practical steps and habits will help you
move from instinctive to enlightened love.
Imago theory offers a new definition of couplehood, based on
collaboration, understanding, equality and safety.
Couples learn to shift their focus from the personal to the interpersonal.
Rather than asking: “How can this relationship meet my needs?”
the conscious couple asks:
“What does our relationship need?”
Attending a Start Right, Stay Connected seminar demonstrates that you
already possess a quality essential to a loving connection: intentionality.
A willingness to seek knowledge about your relationship and
to apply that knowledge effectively is a great way to
start an enduring, deeply satisfying partnership.
Start Right, Stay Connected employs both learning (cognitive) and
doing (experiential) methods to help you find your way to
a conscious marriage that will last two lifetimes.
We wish you well on your journey to discover Real Love.
In both little ways and big ones, you are contributing to
a whole new culture of consciousness, growth and healing.
Peace and Blessings...Harville & Helen
"Let yourself fall in love again every day......................be in the full JOY of it". Matthew Fox
Not quite premarital counseling, not quite therapy - a unique, service -
CONTACT: Susie or Shelton for an appointment
"Before you speak, ask yourself:
is it kind, is it necessary,
is it true, does it improve on the silence?" Sai Baba
THE INSTITUTE FOR RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT
was the sponsor and organizer for the following tour
and Susie and Shelton are certified facilitators and trainers
of Pat Love's work in Australia.
They are available to present seminars and workshops to the general public
as well as professional groups and organizations.
OUTSTANDING & ACCLAIMED U.S. Therapist/Educator/Author
30 Jan 2008: University of WA Summer School 2008 PUBLIC LECTURE:
FINDING LOVE BEYOND WORDS
Author of "The Truth About Love"
"The Emotional Incest Syndrome"
"How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It"
About Pat Love
known for warmth, humor and commitment to learning.
For more than twenty-five years, she has contributed to relationship education
and personal development through her books, articles, training programs,
speaking and media appearances.
Moving, inspiring, humorous, informative, are just a few words
that describe her unique style and poignant delivery.
As one participant commented;
“She can have you laughing and crying in the same minute”.
Pat’s heartwarming and humorous style, love of teaching and
wealth of knowledge makes her a very popular international presenter and speaker.
many professional books and developed relationship education materials
that are being used nationally and internationally.
Her ever-popular books Hot Monogamy and The Truth About Love
have literally taken her around the world spreading
the good news about marriage and committed relationships.
Pat is a woman of many talents and you can read more about her on her website: www.patlove.com
Shelton Huettig, M.A., Marriage and Family Therapist
Susie Itzstein, B.A., Psychotherapist/Educator